October is ADHD Awareness Month, and for me, this subject is particularly close to home. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my twenties, and it has given me a different perspective on just how misunderstood the condition can be, especially in women.
When people think about ADHD, they might picture someone who cannot sit still, gets distracted easily or struggles to concentrate. But ADHD is not as simple as these stereotypes suggest. It affects people in different ways, and sometimes the signs are not as obvious as we have been led to believe.
For many women, ADHD can go unnoticed for years. Girls are not always recognised in the same way as boys, partly because their difficulties may look different from the behaviours people traditionally associate with ADHD. Rather than being seen as disruptive or hyperactive, they might be described as daydreamers, worriers, overly emotional or simply a little disorganised.
There is also the issue of masking. Some women learn to hide or compensate for their difficulties to fit in with the expectations placed on them. They might work incredibly hard to appear organised, rehearse conversations in their heads, copy what others do in social situations or push themselves to keep up, even when they feel completely overwhelmed.
From the outside, everything can look fine. People might not realise how much effort goes into making it look that way.
Receiving my diagnosis in my twenties has made me think about how many people spend years trying to understand themselves without having the answers they need. Getting a diagnosis later in life can bring a mixture of emotions. There can be relief in finally having an explanation for things that have always felt difficult, but there can also be frustration when you look back and wonder how different things might have been if someone had recognised the signs sooner.
It can make you rethink experiences you have had throughout your life and understand them in a different way. Things you might once have blamed yourself for can start to make more sense.
One of the biggest problems is that ADHD is still often misunderstood. People can assume that if someone is doing well at work, maintaining relationships or managing everyday responsibilities, they cannot possibly be struggling. But being able to do something does not necessarily mean it comes easily, and appearing to cope does not mean someone is not finding things difficult.
Sometimes, the person who seems to have everything together is putting an enormous amount of effort into keeping it that way.
ADHD can affect concentration, organisation, time management and emotional regulation. It can make starting a task feel just as difficult as finishing it, or leave someone feeling overwhelmed by things that appear simple to everyone else. These experiences are not always visible, and they are not a reflection of someone's intelligence, effort or potential.
That is why it is so important to move away from the idea that people with ADHD simply need to try harder. Sometimes, people have been trying harder for years. They have just been doing it quietly.
At the SupaJam Foundation, recognising that everyone has different needs, experiences and strengths is an important part of supporting young people. No two people experience the world in exactly the same way, and no two people will need exactly the same support.
For young people who are neurodivergent, feeling understood can make a real difference. It can help them build confidence, recognise their abilities and feel less pressure to hide the parts of themselves they think others might not understand.
Imagine how different things could be if we spent less time asking people why they cannot fit in and more time asking what would help them feel comfortable being themselves.
Awareness is not just about knowing what ADHD stands for or recognising a list of symptoms. It is about understanding that someone can be struggling even when they do not show it. It is about being willing to listen rather than making assumptions, and recognising that people should not have to reach breaking point before their difficulties are taken seriously.
For me, being diagnosed in my twenties has reinforced just how important awareness is, particularly when it comes to women and girls whose ADHD may have gone unnoticed for years. There are people who may not yet have the language to explain what they are experiencing, or who have spent so long trying to meet other people's expectations that they have never stopped to question why things feel so difficult.
We cannot change the past for those who were diagnosed later in life, but we can help make the future different for the next generation.
This October, I hope we can look beyond the stereotypes, challenge the assumptions and make more room for conversations about what ADHD really looks like. Because sometimes, the people who appear to be coping the best are the ones who have become the best at hiding their struggles.
And nobody should have to hide who they are just to feel understood.
